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Come Home with Melissa Costello
Come Home with Melissa Costello
19: The Power of Style to Transform Your Life with Style Coach, Erin Mathis
In the era of ageism, it’s increasingly hard for women to embrace their natural aging. We are constantly exposed to beauty influencers through social media along with unrealistic images, photos and ideals in mainstream media, which makes it even more challenging for women to cultivate a unique sense of self or to have a positive self-image.
In this episode, Melissa chats with Style Coach, Erin Mathis. Erin teaches midlife women how to create an authentic style that helps them make the impact they want to have and to feel confident about their own image.
Erin believes that women can use style as a secret weapon to help build confidence and that it has the power to change the trajectory of our lives, without it being complicated. She fully believes that style is only one piece of your whole self, and we must do our inner work as well to be able to exude confidence and well-being from the inside out
Erin shares the story of her own style transformation, and also discloses the personal challenges she had in her life when she was overweight and struggling with anxiety and depression. Through using style to give her a confidence boost, she was able to embrace herself in the here and now instead of waiting until she lost weight or her body changed.
As we age, everything changes. The makeup techniques we used in our 30’s no longer work, our hair changes, our bodies change. We also go deep into what it means to embrace aging and all the changes that come along with it and how having a unique sense of style can help with that process.
Even if style is NOT your thing, or you don’t feel like a stylish person, Erin’s episode shines a light on how making simple changes in your style and self-image can make all the difference in how you show up in the world and feel about yourself.
Co-founder of The Style Core, Erin Mathis helps empower women to take charge of the future. From her hometown in Northern California, she coaches women around the globe and guides her clients to reinvent themselves so they can confidently show the world who they really are and align their image with the impact they want to make through her simple 7-step process.
Catch Erin online through her signature transformational program, Create Your Million Dollar Look.
RESOURCES:
Check out Erin's TEDx Talk, The Power of Image to Transform Your Life
Do you want to feel confident, relevant, and stylish? Get “The Top 5 Steps to Up-Level Your Style” Guide HERE
Follow The Style Core
Instagram: www.instagram.com/stylecorelife
Facebook: www.facebook.com/stylecorelife
Website: www.erinmathis.com
Get on the Whole Hearted Woman Waitlist here:
https://karmachow.com/wholehearted-woman-wait-list/
If you struggle with emotional eating, stress eating or yo-yo dieting, download my Food Freedom Guide HERE and take your power back from food today!
Get some free coaching around a specific issue or challenge you are facing! Come be a guest on my show and let’s work it out together and help you Come Home to what truly matters; book a session here.
Find Melissa on her social media platforms:
Instagram: @melcostellocoach
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/groups/2004687
Youtube: www.youtube.com/user/karmachow
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Well, hello friends. You came back. Yay. I'm so happy you are here. You came back. You came back. Yay. All right today, I have a very special treat for you. With an incredible expert guest that I can't wait to introduce to you. But before we go there, I want to share a little story. Last night during one of my coaching sessions inside my membership community, the whole hearted woman, we were talking about authentic. Self-expression. And this idea of what it means to truly express yourself authentically and to even live authentically. So authenticity is one of my life values. I know you hear me mention my life values a lot through various episodes and that's because they are the tenants that I live and learn by. They're really what helps me stay connected to myself and grounded in the world and how I show up. So I'll talk about that more, another time. I actually am going to be also hosting a values-based workshop. So more on that to come in the coming weeks. Inside the conversation that we were having, one of the members of the whole hearted woman was sharing about an experience. She had two days prior. On a group zoom call that was meant to be a celebration for the completion of a training she had done. When she got on the call, she was already in a bit of a funk and feeling a little bit down and everyone on the call, especially the leaders of the call were overly excited, happy, and celebratory. Everyone was sharing how excited they were to complete this training. They had all gone through and there was lots of whooping and hollering and cheering going on, like over the top. Can you just envision it? So my client felt like she didn't fit in number one, and that she had to fake how she was feeling because all of these happy people triggered her. And like I said, she had already shown up to the call feeling a little bit tenderhearted feeling a little bit sad, maybe cause the completion of the training was over, but there was possibly some other things going on in her life as well. So when we kind of dive a little bit deeper and I asked her what it was about, she said she wasn't quite sure, but what she was able to identify was that there was a lot of self comparison going on, and then also a big fear of judgment. So one of the judgments was if I'm not happy and peppy, like everyone else I'll be seen as a downer and I'll bring everyone else down, boy oh boy, who can relate to that? I know I can. So sometimes these situations can be hard and we can feel pressure to be something we're not, especially in groups in these group dynamics. And so as I coached her around authentic self-expression I told her. That the best thing she could have done for herself. And the group was to speak up and name. What she was feeling. So this is something that hadn't even occurred to her because God forbid she brings everyone down. So there were a few things going on for her that we were able to identify as we jumped in a little bit deeper one. Her fear of being judged and not being seen as good enough. She was comparing herself to other people in the group. And how far, much, further along they were and how much better they did now, this was in her mind, right. That doesn't necessarily mean that's true. The other was that, that serious comparison. Brought up. How she also judges others when she feels like she's doing better than others. So it actually goes both ways, which I thought was really courageous of her to admit. The other thing that was going on was she was taking over responsibility for everyone's feelings and by not wanting to bring them down and thinking that she would be the Debbie downer. And I said, you know what? F that. Because number one, you're not responsible for anyone else's feelings, they're all adults. They can all take care of themselves. They can all set boundaries if they need to. And it's kind of a little bit self-centered to think we have that much power over so many people, right. We get a little full of ourselves or a little precious at times. My coach calls me out on this all the time. So I told her that what if by saying what was true and by being real, that she actually gave someone else permission. In that group to do the same because listen, ladies. What's the chance. That every single person on that call was so happy and peppy and no one was actually faking it. I'm guessing it's very low. It's really that you can get that many people on a call and everybody's happy. I mean, we're women for crying out loud and we are feeling. Empathetic beings. And I can feel a myriad of emotions. In. A minute. Right in 60 seconds or less, I can be happy. Sad. Angry judgmental, all of those things. So here's the thing. When we can name how we feel and say it out loud, it not only helps us, but it helps others. Being able to authentically express how we feel. It takes courage. And being able to take care of ourselves when we feel afraid of being judged or ousted takes courage as well. Right. Because if we feel like we're not going to belong or someone's going to judge us, it's really scary. And I have a little bit of an inclination that those leaders were possibly being a little bit over the top. Happy, which, Hey, you know what? Kudos to them. I'm not judging. And I understand why they were doing it, but I think it's important that we leave space for everyone. To feel whatever they are feeling. So my client's still doing some work on this. She's done a lot of journaling. She's had quite a few breakthroughs already within her journal practice and seeing where this deeper core belief comes from. One of the things she's recognized, this is this. deeper idea of not being good enough or ahead enough of the crowd instead of working on radically accepting herself where she is. So I think it was on Glennon's podcast or Bearnaise podcasts. Those are really the only two I'm listening to, or my, even my coach Dallas, I can't remember which one. I'll have to find credit and give credit where credit's due. But there was an orange tree analogy. And this person shared, if you think about an orange tree and there's so many of them here in California, I walked by them every day. If you think about an orange tree and you look at an orange tree on that tree are oranges that are completely orange and big and ripe and ready to fall off. And then also on that same tree are oranges that are tiny and green are oranges that are medium green. They're all different shapes and sizes and colors. And they're at all different levels, but they're on the same tree. And one orange is not judging the other orange for being better, or for saying you're not catching up fast enough or you're not in the same place I am. So I'm better than you. And that's where we get caught up because we don't accept ourselves for where we are and we compare ourselves to all the other oranges. Even though we're all in the same family together. We're all in this together. Right. You can tell them getting a little bit. Passionate about this. And so being. Being able to speak up and express ourselves in name. What we are feeling and also accepting and applying radical acceptance to where we are is huge. Huge. We're doing such good work inside the whole hearted woman, by the way, if you're interested in learning more about that and getting on the wait list for that, I'm going to be opening up some spots for membership in November. So make sure you check out the link in the show notes. Okay. So today let's dive into the episode. I'm talking with Aaron Mathis. And she's a style coach. Okay, ladies. Now don't get all upset about this. Because even if you aren't stylish, which I am not, or you have no idea how to shop or what to wear, please stay tuned. Listen. My style goes about as far as sporty spice, I hate shopping. I think I own four pairs of jeans. I have very minimal things inside my closet. Most of them are hand me downs. I live in joggers and sweatshirts most days. So even if you're not stylish, please listen to this episode because it goes way beyond that. What Erin does goes way beyond style. She actually teaches bin life women, how to create an authentic style that helps them make the impact they want to have, and to feel confident about their own image. And to her image is actually more than just what we wear. And it's actually more than some transformational make-over it's about actually doing our deeper inner work to. And how we show up in the world from the inside out. So listen. Dressing nice having clothes that fit wearing fun colors. It's a big way to build confidence and to feel better. In general. I remember years ago, all I did was wear black and one time someone said to me, Why do you always wear black? It's depressing. It draws you down. Why don't you put some color on, but at that time I hated my body and I thought black was the only thing that made me look thin, which was just such bullshit. That's that goes deeper into my past. We're not going to get into that. So I got my colors done last year and it was the best thing I ever did. I don't wear black anymore. I stopped wearing black quite a long time ago. But having my colors done was so empowering because now I only buy clothes whenever I very rarely buy clothes that are in my colors. And I actually feel really good wearing them. And my colors actually are really beautiful, which I was so stoked about. So anyway, Erin and I dive into her story today. We talk about the big transformation she had when there was a time in her life when she was overweight, depressed, unhappy. And she had to have some photos done for her business. So what she did was gave herself a simple make-over went to a thrift store, bought some fun, colorful clothes and worked on accepting herself where she was in the moment, not waiting until the day when she lost the weight to get the photos done. And it was actually really powerful for her. So you're going to hear about that story. So ladies, I want you to open your ears. I want you to take in every word. Erin has to say, she's also done a TEDx talk around the power. of image to transform your life. And I think that having a little bit of style in your life can make a big difference around how you feel in the world. Because a lot of us who, especially women who struggle with their weight and their bodies, We wear clothes, adult fit. We wear clothes that are too tight. We wear clothes that are not flattering. And so it's awesome to have things that fit us and the things that feel good. So the cool thing is Erin makes it really simple and easy with her seven step process. She also has a great freebie to download, to make sure you click on the show notes to get that. And tune into the episode so that you can understand a little bit more about how important your images, how important it is to have a sense of style, because we're also unique. So let's head on over to my conversation with Erin Welcome Erin. I'm so happy to have you on the show.
Erin Mathis:Hi, Melissa. So happy to be here.
Melissa Costello:I'm really excited to dive in this conversation today because I think it encompasses so much around. How women can help build confidence through style and image. So tell us a little bit about who you are and the work you do.
Erin Mathis:Yeah. Okay. I am a style coach and I work at primarily with women. I guide them to create authentic style, like from head to toe. So hair makeup wardrobe that helps them make the impact they want to make, to attract the people and opportunities they want to have in their life and to feel the way they want to feel.
Melissa Costello:Oh my gosh. That's so incredible because I feel like. That can be such a huge missing piece for a lot of women, especially as we get older. And, I work with a lot of women in my audience who they struggle with their bodies. They struggle with their weight. They struggle with knowing what to wear. So I'm super excited to dive into this today.
Erin Mathis:Yes, me too.
Melissa Costello:Okay. So why does this topic matter to you and what, tell me what got you started on this journey.
Erin Mathis:Yeah. You know, I started on this journey pretty young when I was just in middle school. I was totally, I guess you would just say nerdy, but I was like a late developer and I was really shy and it was rough. And then somehow kind of during middle school, I. Started to pick up some style tips. And I actually gave myself a pretty big transformation between middle school and high school. And so when I showed up to high school with my new self. the change was like, it was pretty dramatic and people said, whoa, what happened to little Aaron? You know, where did I go? A little nerd going, who's this like beautiful, you know? So it was a pretty big change change. And of course that attention felt great. And, it just shifted the course of my life in a way that I got more confident. I started taking more risks and, you know, try out for cheerleader. I made cheerleader some sports, Just more opportunities kind of opening up. So even just at that young age, my goodness and early high school realizing the power of style or your image to like change the trajectory. And I just thought, wow, if this works for me, it really could work for other people too. And I used to have this little sort of fantasy that if I had a magic wand, how would I make him over, make her over? You know? So I didn't even know there was a career in style, but, clearly seeds were planted at a young age. And if anybody wants to hear more of that story and actually see the pictures of my transformation, I did a Ted talk. Not just on that story, but that was part of the Ted talk. So you can check it out. But that was like the first of a handful of transformations that I personally had throughout my life. And it was like, I would kind of style myself for the life I wanted to have, or the next step I wanted to enter into later on, it was my career in Silicon valley. After that it was moving to Los Angeles and styling myself to be a musician, a leader of a band. I mean, you know, like, I just. Sort of using style as the secret weapon to give myself confidence and to style myself for the role I wanted to live the life I wanted to. So, you know, all the way through midlife and, you know, at some point I can, I'll tell my story today because I also had a big transformation in midlife. So that's why I care because I know the power personally. And then I've been able to take many other people through that journey. And see the transformations and the results. Wow.
Melissa Costello:That's beautiful. I really love when you said earlier about helping women, you said something around like authentic expression through style. I so love that. I really feel like, in a world where we focus so much on looks aging is. Not really supported right. In our media women, as they get older, aging is not really supported. And I know that you work a lot with women in midlife. And so I'm wondering what are some ways that you help midlife women feel good about themselves, especially when they're struggling, like with their body and their weight or the age that they are not looking like they think they should.
Erin Mathis:Yeah, that is a really common struggle. And I've, I've been there myself. So I just know that midlife, we're going through so many changes, our bodies, our skin, our hair, our life, our soul, you know, like all kinds of things are changing. Know peri-menopause hormones, like big life transitions, whether it's like career divorce or, you know, kids. you know, moving out or, just so many things. And so it's really important to reconnect with our appearance. Now it's not just about surface. I really believe like style is just one piece of your whole self. you've got to do the work, you know, the internal work and things, but reconnecting with what story am I telling visually to the world, to myself? When I look in the mirror, first of all, how do I feel about what I'm seeing? Am I embracing? Am I loving and my celebrating am I hiding? Am I trying to be something I'm not? You know, so it's really important to reassess, Like, where am I now? And how can my image serve me, make me feel happy, help me reach my goals, help me make the impact. So, it's a powerful thing to see. And I've seen myself and so many women go through this and midlife where they've kind of lost touch and Whatever we did in our twenties and thirties, it's not working now. Like those makeup techniques are not working. The hair is thinner. It's fuzzier. As you know, it's like different, it's not working. We can't just wash and wear and put a little lipstick on and run out the door. Sorry ladies. But those days are gone unless you were like 5% of like women who just have, you know, these jeans or whatever.
Melissa Costello:the natural, right?
Erin Mathis:Yeah. The natural, the hair that doesn't frizz. But yeah, those days are over. if you want to look polished, if you want to look relevant. and yes, there is, age-ism in our culture. That's just a reality. So I think it's interesting that half the population, men don't have to do anything to their face, but half the population women, we have to paint our face every single day to be relevant. And, you know, unless, you know, not everybody does it, but generally. You know, and on one hand, it's like, that's not fair, but on the other hand, that is the culture. So if you want to kind of thrive inside that culture, you want to, unless you're this, you know, total pioneer Renegade, who's just going to like make her way. you got to kind of play the game, but you can do it in a way that's fun and that's authentic, and that works for you. So I love to help women find those techniques and the hair and the makeup and the wardrobe that just. Really, balances their body as it is right now.
Melissa Costello:Yeah. And I think that, that, you know, again, I mentioned my audience and I know we kind of have similar audiences, but I think that, a lot of my community are women who have done a lot of the yo-yo dieting and they've gone up and down a lot in their way. And they have this expectation or this idea that their bodies should look. Like it used to 20 years ago. And I love that. You're saying we have to embrace where we are now find what works for us now. Right. Because we can never go backwards. We're not going to be, our bodies are not going to look like our faces are not going to look like our hair's not going to like what it did 20 years ago, even 10 years ago, maybe for a lot of us, you know?
Erin Mathis:So that keyword. Pivot it is time to pivot we
Melissa Costello:and embrace, right? Like embracing Yeah,
Erin Mathis:absolutely. Absolutely. And one of my big, like mantras in this, work that I do is don't wait to lose the weight, embrace your body as it is now. you know, I had a moment like that in my life where I had always been pretty thin. but I had my kids a little bit later in life. So I had young kids in my forties and, I'm now 50. I just turned 50, but I had young kids in my forties. I was starting to kind of have all those hormonal things that come with like perimenopause and it just was an awful hard time. I was working career. I was running this company, which was, this is a style company, the style Corp. I was more background at that point, but yeah, I was, you know, 30 pounds overweight. I didn't feel good. I was drinking too much. I was definitely emotional eating. and We needed to do a new website and there had to be a photo shoot of our team. And I'm sure women out there can relate, like you need a photo for something, whether it's professional or, you know, you got to get the photos. And you're like, oh, I don't like the way I look. I don't want to, you don't want to put myself out there. So I didn't really have the time to like, wait to lose the weight. And it was going to be full body pictures. You know, it was, you know, full length, not just headshots. So, I gave myself a make-over and I was, I was also struggling with depression and anxiety at the time. So yeah, it was just a whole gamut. Yeah. Full gamut. Right. I'm sure women can relate. but, and that's something that I struggle with off and on for years, but very high functioning, but still it affects things. So I gave myself a make-over I obviously I know style, I know style techniques. So I just said, I'm going to embrace my body as it is right now. Curvier, you know, extra weight. And I went out and I found clothes. I didn't have to spend a fortune because at the time I was in Los Angeles and there's all kinds of great consignment. So I shopped some consignment, some brand new, but then I got the clothes tailored to fit my body so that it was flat. You know, the outfits were flattered. On my current body shape and I actually got hair extensions, which was really fun. I had been, I kind of changed my hair color. It had been a little bit darker, like brownish and I went to blond. I got hair extensions and. Then was ready for this photo shoot had this photo shoot. It turned out really great. And it was such a boost for me to see that result. And even just the way I felt after giving myself that make-over embracing my body as it was, I just, I felt good. And it gave me this new boost of confidence. It, kind of just brought this shift in my life and in my career, One day. I was walking down the street with my daughter who was in preschool at the time, and I was bringing her to preschool and this man stopped me on the street. He had a big camera in his hand and he said, young guy was in the streets of Hollywood. He said, um, excuse me, I am a photographer for a fashion blog, like fashion on the streets. Can I take your picture for the blog? And I was wearing one of my new outfits that I had, you know, tailored and gotten from them. Shoot. It was, really nice. Not overly dressed up, but I was like, yeah. Okay. Fun. This is flattering, but it was a neat affirmation of that shift. Yeah you would have been seen as a middle aged woman being seen in Hollywood,
Melissa Costello:in Hollywood, no less
Erin Mathis:in my mid forties. So that felt good and it, and it just, it was a big shift. And then, you know, it wasn't long after that. Like, I kind of felt better. I stopped drinking as much and, and it wasn't like a huge drinker, but it was just too much for me. So I stopped drinking as much. And the weight just kind of fell off after that. Like, I wasn't even really trying.
Melissa Costello:that's so powerful because just you sharing that story around being in this really kind of dark place, right. Struggling with anxiety, depression, extra weight on your body, having to do this photo shoot, probably not really wanting to, but knowing you need to for business and you implemented your own, right? Like your own tools and strategies. And you're like, I gotta walk my talk. I gotta walk my walk, all of it. and you felt the shift, right. And other people notice it. And then your body. Started to release because you were feeling better about yourself and it sounds like you wanted to take better care of yourself too.
Erin Mathis:It did Yeah. It just, it really shifted some things and your external, it's not everything, your style's not everything, but it is a piece it's a big piece. It was one piece of the puzzle of caring for yourself. Loving yourself, embracing yourself and really telling the story that you want to tell to yourself visually and other people as well.
Melissa Costello:I love that. what about image matters or rather does any part of image not matter? Just want to kind of hear your take on that.
Erin Mathis:Yeah, that is a great question. There are three ways that it can really, impact our life. One. It's how we feel about ourself. You know, there's this quote never underestimate the power of a good outfit on a bad day. You know, a good outfit. It can actually lift your mood a little bit, right. It can help you. It doesn't fix everything, but it can help. Number two, it affects how other people perceive us that really can make or break different opportunities, connections, whether it be romantic or professional or even friendships. So how we feel about ourselves, how others perceive us. And the third way is the kinds of opportunities and people. That we attract, when you are presenting yourself in a certain way, are you presenting yourself in the way for the things you want to attract in your life? Again, whether that's romantic, whether it's professional, fun friends, you know, what is it? and there's actually this, psychological study that, shows that the clothes we wear affect our behavior, mood, our confidence, and even the way we interact with other people. And they call it enclosed cognition. So they've studied, you know, it's proven and I've experienced it myself. I've seen my clients have big transformations in their life after they aligned their image with who they want to be.
Melissa Costello:style is so unique. Right. I feel like. I've never been really a stylish person. I grew up as an athlete and I was always kind of in, I guess I'm kinda more like the sporty spice world. Right. but I've always been envious when I see people who have a style or they, they just dress so well, regardless of body size or shape Because I think that if you see a woman who society would consider, she's a overweight, she's obese and she's dressed like really beautifully and colors and done up. You don't even see any of those things that society says. You just see this woman who like takes care of herself and cares about what she looks like and how, how she's portraying herself out in the world.
Erin Mathis:Exactly. I mean, it kind of doesn't matter. really doesn't matter what shape or size, like, if you own it, you wear it with confidence. you know, it just doesn't matter. People see, and they might notice the way, but they go, wow. She is just owning it. She's beautiful. You know, so yeah. it's all about owning it. My, my mentor. actually told a great story about this. We were just doing a live style coaching call online yesterday. And we were talking about this issue and my mentor is Carla Mathis. She's also my mother-in-law, she's a pioneer in the industry of image consulting and she's like legend, but she was born with deformities of hands and feet. so her hands and her fingers don't look normal. They look really abnormal, And she's had a lot of skin issues. So she always has like scar, you know, she's always getting like skin cancer, he think, yeah. I mean, you'd look at her now. She's in her early eighties. She's beautiful. She's so stunning. If you look up Carla Mathis, if you go to the style court.com, you'll see pictures of us and she's totally beautiful, but she's got these hands that are deformed and her parents, always made her feel like you are so special. Everybody's special, but you're special on the outside. And they never made her feel ashamed or bad about her differences. And so she just has no issue at all. And she teaches and she speaks on stages and she's, you know, teaches all over the world on image. And she has got these deformed hands and it's like not an issue. If people notice, they usually don't say anything, they might be curious, but she has no shame about it. And you know, I always encourage her to share the story because it's so inspiring, but yeah, you're right. If people can just own who they are, their uniqueness, and even if that means, Hey, I'm a sporty dresser. That's who I am. That's my lifestyle. That's my business. Whatever, that's fine. That's who you are. You can own it. You can rock it. You can pick the colors that, you know, make you look vibrant and alive, and the styles that really flatter your body type, you know, there's always a way to be authentic in stylish, in your way.
today's episode is sponsored by the food freedom guide. If you're someone who has been stuck in yo-yo dieting world, and you're sick and tired of restricting your food, counting calories and feeling deprived to lose weight, the food freedom guide will give you all the answers. You need to take your power back from food, lose weight in a sustainable way and end emotional eating. Go to my website@karmaciao.com. Click on the red button and get your copy today.
Melissa Costello:I love that. and I'm also someone who doesn't like to shop. So that's why, what you do is so cool because I feel like. I can go in a store and not really know what's going to look good on my body. Right. Like someone will pick something out and say, try these on. And I'll be like, oh God, no, that would never. Look good. And then I tried it on and it looks good. Right. You know, is that something that you help women do? Like find things that flat, you did say that flat or their body, like, if you don't even feel like you have style, you know.
Erin Mathis:Well, I think that's why a lot of people don't like to shop cause they just don't have the skills, you know, to know, and it's this big guessing game and you want, yeah. Or with all these clothes hand everywhere and you're just overwhelmed. And it's like, here we go. We have this massive chore of trying on a hundred things that may or may not work before I find that one or two things. And you know, if you've got a body type, that clothing is not styled for, it off the rack. It, nothing is wrong with your body. It's the clothes that are the problem, but it makes shopping more difficult. So, yeah, I like to take my clients through the seven step process of really understanding their style. I do it in an online course that happens over six months so that people have a chance to kind of learn each step and lesson really apply it to themselves. In their wardrobe and put things together as they're learning. And once you go through it, you have skills and you now know this is who I am. This is my body type. This is my style archetype. these are the kinds of accessories that work and they know why. So if somebody is naturally intuitive, You know, they might have an easier time shopping. If they're more artistic or creative visual, they might have an easier time shopping without the training. But for a lot of people, they don't have that naturally. So just learning some really basic skills, about, your body silhouette. These are the styles that are going to flatter and balance your silhouette and. Things to keep in mind for tops and pants, jacket, you know, we just teach all those things and then it's not a guessing game and it saves so much time.
Melissa Costello:Wow. That sounds so fun. I'm like, I want to sign up for that course
Erin Mathis:it is so much fun and it's fun to do it in a community because you're going through it with other women and, you know, there's interaction. There's some group coaching help along the way. So, you know, you really get supported. And I don't like to cram it into a really short period. I used to do it over like 10 weeks. And then I realized no people need time to really walk through this. And it, it's life-changing because once you know, you're like, oh, I never have to waste all that time.
Melissa Costello:That's so awesome. Yes. We will make sure to link to that in the show notes. So people can go check out your website, check out your courses. I know also, you're going to share a free gift that you have, but I don't want to go there yet because I want to ask you a couple more questions.
Erin Mathis:Perfect. No rush
Melissa Costello:So, let's talk a little bit about color because I recently had my colors done. It's something I had never gotten done before. and I think it is. It makes such a huge difference. So do colors for women? Like what's your process around that and how important is color?
Erin Mathis:Color is so important? It's huge. Like in our seven step process of style, it's the second step and because it's foundational, so our steps. Building the building blocks. And that's like really the second step, because it's so important. So yes, we do color as a company. I'm a co-founder of the style core, and we actually train image experts all around the world do the work that I do. Image coaching style coaching, and we have color systems that we designed custom palettes for clients and are our stylists that are trained by us, use those tools as well. But even just inside course, my style coaching course color is the second step. And it is so important because there are some super basic things that most people don't understand. And once they understand it. It's so simple. And like one of the concepts has to do with your contrast level, if you're high contrast or low contrast and your natural coloring, once you understand your color pattern, you know how to put outfits together, that will relate to that contrast level. And so when you walk in a room or people see you, they're going to see you your face, not the outfit and that's one of the issues that happens when people are aren't choosing colors that are harmonious or putting them together in a way that don't relate. you just tend to see kind of that outfit first and you get stuck on different parts of the outfit rather than the I going to the face, So we like to help women and men, but create like an integrated, harmonious visual. Appearance. And it's nourishing to you when you look in the mirror and it's nourishing to others.
Melissa Costello:Oh my gosh. You are. So speaking my language, all of these words that you're using nourishing and beautiful.
Erin Mathis:Yes. A little nourishment,
Melissa Costello:visual nourishment. I love that
Erin Mathis:color is important and we teach like, one big concept we teach is about your inherent colors and those are the colors that we see. In your hair, your eyes and your skin and how you can use as colors in your clothing, in your wardrobe when you want to be more approachable. So, you know, there's all these like really cool techniques that you can learn and apply.
Melissa Costello:Yes. And it's so funny because I used to wear so much black. I grew up in post. I used to wear so much black and especially when I was heavier. I used to wear black all the time because I thought it helped me look thinner. Yeah. And I remember I was working at this retreat center and one of the women who works there was like, all you do is wear black. You should wear color. You're so beautiful and colorful. Help you feel better. And it was interesting if she said that I went home and I was like, I need to get rid of all this black in my closet. I don't buy anything black anymore, which is so cool.
Erin Mathis:Yay. Ooh, that Makes me so happy to hear, all done I mean nothings wrong. Nothing's wrong with black, but I can see your coloring and it's not at all. Like in your natural coloring. So you were kind of using it more to hide or? So,
Melissa Costello:and it's not in my color palette. I mean, when I got my colors done, it was not in my color palette. I was like, okay, this is confirmation.
Erin Mathis:Yeah. And it, you know, if somebody is listening, they have black hair, like it's in your palette, you know? So that's really like a natural part of your inherent colors and you'll, and it's not to say that you can't wear black if it not in your natural palette, like somebody like you and I blonde hair, blue eyes, you know, but, it is a more formal color. Right. And it comes off as a more formal color and it can be used to kind of hide.
Melissa Costello:Yes, which yes, that's what I was using it for, for sure. Yeah. Okay. So just a couple more little things I'd love to know before we wrap up. What's the biggest mistake women make when it comes to their personal style? I'm so curious about this, because I feel like I kind of have an idea, but I want to hear your take.
Erin Mathis:Yes. Okay. Well, as we age, I think the biggest mistake I see, and I understand, cause I've been there, we can kind of lose touch with ourselves and get a little bit lost, especially during midlife, you know, we're dealing with, how much staff? So we can kind of lose touch with our changing body. Our, you know, our hair's changed, our skin is changing and if we're still just kind of. Putting ourselves on the back burner. And, and honestly, that's a big mistake. Like don't put your image on the back burner because ultimately it's not going to serve you and it's not going to help you to do that. So like, I know it's hard to make it a priority because we're juggling so many other things, but just take some time and invest in yourself to go, okay, you know, where am I at now? I need to kind of reassess and as we were saying, what worked in the twenties and thirties is probably not working anymore. And I know a lot of women are, but where, you know, what do I, what do I do? Where do I find out? Like how, which makeup brands do I use now? Yeah, that's such a good common question. And it's really just finding that. Resources and the guides that can help you, you know, you might be able to figure it out on your own with like internet and blogs and you know, influencers, but don't try to copy people that look nothing. Like you find a style icon that actually kind of shares like your body type, your coloring. That's a better way to go, but you know, then you still need to find your own unique style. But I guess the main point is get help, invest in yourself, get some help. I know for me, you know, I've had to get help from all kinds of different experts. In my life, but particularly in my forties, you know, I've got the naturopathic doctor. He's helping me in my health areas. I've got the business coach, you know, she's helping me see things that I didn't see in business. And for a lot of ladies it's get a style coach and thankfully, and that will help you give you a framework and help you think about, okay, Where am I at now? What has changed? You know, the makeup techniques there. They're not working the hair techniques, the wardrobe I've got to figure out what's working for me. And thankfully it's a lot more affordable and accessible now because of programs like mine that are online, where I'm working with ladies all over the world, love that, and it's affordable and it's going to be life-changing.
Melissa Costello:can't wait to personally check it out. I'm going to definitely check it out because I feel this is an area that I actually need supported. I mean, to be honest, I do not really spend any money on clothes and I feel like. I don't do that because not because it's not a priority, but because I don't even really know what my style is, you know, and I am a casual dresser. I work from home. So I do spend a lot of time where joggers and just, you know, in my workout clothes. but I do, when I go out of the house, I like to look cute. You know, something on that has color or feel that I feel really good in.
Erin Mathis:Exactly. And I think a lot of women can relate with that, especially now. you know, A lot of us are working from home. So yeah. wear a comfy outfit. I, have my uniforms that are like either, you know, flattering, but like I'm okay to like pop out and go to the post office, wearing it because I like it Casual yoga look or whatever, but you're right. There's just times when you go out, you want to show up and be seen whether it's in a photo that you have to get taken, whether in which is going to show up online, right? Whether it's to an event or somewhere where you're going to be seen and you really want to make a specific impact or feel good about yourself, that's when you need to have those go-to looks. And I, you know, I take my clients through this process and at the end I helped them put together what I call their impact outfits. And those are just, those looks that you feel really good about. We call it your million dollar look. And it could be anything from casual to, you know, going out formal, but I teach my clients how to have a daily routine that they don't have to stand in front of a closet, trying to figure out what to wear. We get that all organized, get it in a look book on their phone. They can be, drinking their coffee and just. Scrolling through their looks and going, Hmm, this is how I want to feel today. I'm going to pick this up and it's already all done, you know?
Melissa Costello:Oh my gosh. I love that. That sounds so simple. So accessible and fun.
Erin Mathis:Life life-changing, life-changing like literally I am not a morning lie in the morning personnel, but I didn't use to be a morning person. And I would just stand at my closet trying to wake up and just looking at this cluttered closet and just going, oh my God, what am I going to wear what am I going to put together? That is so not the way to do it. That's the last thing we need in the morning. So I helped my clients kind of go through this process where they learn things. They understand and then, all the while we're taking pictures, selfies of outfits that we're creating and putting that into an album on our phone. So you can be sitting in bed or having your morning coffee. And going, I've already done this work. So this is, you know, I'm just gonna like flip through my little book and I'm on my phone and it just makes your mornings so much nicer. When you got to go somewhere or, you know, events
Melissa Costello:right, right. Yeah. Instead of, oh, what am I going to wear? And then just, yeah.
Erin Mathis:And who can remember, like all the things you've figured out five months ago or three, you know, it's like the right accessories. I don't have room in my brain to keep all that stuff. So I just take a picture and I can refer to the picture.
Melissa Costello:I know brains are so overloaded as it is. So I love the process of just having all of that, like that lookbook, right. Having it available and saying, oh, these are the things that are in my closet. This is the look I want to put together, making it really, really simple.
Erin Mathis:Exactly. And I just, you know, I take some time, once a season hours, you know, I'm just kind of in the right mood. You can have a glass of wine, turn some music on, put together the outfits that you have in your closet. You know, figure out what little pieces you need to kind of finish. Oh, I need a, brown belt to finish that one. Or, you know, I need to update these shoes, whatever, you know, just make your little list, but you take that time, like once a season and then it's easy from there.
Melissa Costello:That's so cool. I love it. So you had mentioned something earlier about. You know, women get kind of getting lost in midlife. And I see this a lot with my community and my clients and women who, because they're changing so much, their bodies are changing so much. They do want to hide and they, just kind of wear frumpy clothes. They, you know, all of those things that. Don't support them in building confidence or feeling good about themselves. So I love what you have to offer, because I feel like this is such a great cause I, I really focus on a lot of the internal work with my clients. And then this is the external process that, I mean, I know you do internal work too, but this is the external process. That's like, What people see and what we see when we look in the mirror so that we can feel really good.
Erin Mathis:That's Right? I like to say, you know, all of that good work we've done internally, let's help you reflect that on this side. And that's when you can be really integrated and authentic. And, you know, we, we have this fascinating process for kind of discovering what brings you joy visually and how to bring that into your style so that when you show up, you know, Being really authentic. And you were wearing things you love.
Melissa Costello:I love that the authenticity is huge so cool. Okay. So last question. What's a takeaway style tip you can share today with our listeners.
Erin Mathis:Okay. Great question. I kind of break it down. Actually. I've got like my top five tips and it's a freebie that I want to give to your audience. And it, it kind of illustrates and walks through. You'll see a before and after of me. Just an example, like I'm giving you kind of my top five, the most common mistakes and how to fix them. at some of them are in makeups. So in this, little guide book that you're going to get. You'll see a picture of me before doing the really common makeup mistakes, and you'll see the after. And it's like, wow, huge difference. And it's just little stuff like don't put eyeliner. Only under your eyes. That's something a lot of us didn't when younger. Yup. That makes your eyes drag down, down. She brings them down and there's a new technique. Well, that's not that new, but when you just put eyeliner on the top and maybe like a little blended cat eye and that just lifts your eyes visually.
Melissa Costello:I love it.
Erin Mathis:Yeah. Another one. is like know, unless you want to look kind of sick and tired, you probably need to put under eye concealer.
Melissa Costello:Right. Because that's a, that is a fact in aging. Right. We get those kinds of darker circles under our eyes, or, you know, and
Erin Mathis:and women you know, they say, I want to look relevant. I want to look useful because age-ism is real. yeah, I got to kind of play the game, but In the guide, you're also going to get some tips on, having your clothes fit and what you need to look out for, because that also creates an impression if it doesn't fit. Right. I've got, I've got some tips about color, that contrast level that we talked about. That's in there. and some hair tips too. So get my time for sure.
Melissa Costello:I love it. Yes. I will make sure to link that in the show notes, the gift is the top five steps to up level. Your look. I love that. And yeah, so much goodness here and everyone, please go check out Aaron's website. And again, I'll link that in the show notes, but can you say what your website is?
Erin Mathis:Yes, it's the style Core dot com. So the style C O R e.com. and then I also have another site for style coaching. That's Erin mathis.com. I know it's a little confusing, but I've got a couple of sites, so you can kind of see, see some different things. and yeah, think I just want to kind of lead if some of your audiences in a place where they're kind of reentering the dating world. I shared my story, but one of my clients was in that situation a few years ago and she, you know, was in midlife and she had four kids and she's a single mom and she's dating and a lot like me, she. Had to get some photos, some good photos for sites before you can get good photos, you kinda need to like work on, you know, yourself and like get, you know, kind of re tune in to who we are now. and She went through that whole process and we got, I helped her to just shop her closet. So it wasn't super expensive. Cause budget was an issue and helped her to get some photos and she was getting zero action. Before. And when she put those new photos up, she started to get all kinds of action on her online dating profile
Melissa Costello:that's so fun
Erin Mathis:end'en up meeting a wonderful man who I lived like states away, but they started a long-term relationship. He ended up moving to California. to, you know, continue to date, they got engaged, they got married. It's like a really happy ending love story.
Melissa Costello:That's incredible.
Erin Mathis:You know, what was so pivotal for her was choosing to invest in her image like that was part of her key breakthrough. So that's just, you can't underestimate the power of image to change your life when it's used really strategically. And really authentically.
Melissa Costello:Oh my gosh. yes, I'm all giddy inside over this well, Erin. Thank you so much for sharing your expertise, your passion with us, and also sharing your story. I'm so appreciative that you were here today.
Erin Mathis:Oh, thank you so much for having me, Melissa. I really appreciate the conversation and the opportunity to chat with you.
Melissa Costello:You're welcome. All right. Take care.
Erin Mathis:All right. Have a good day.
Melissa Costello:You too.
Erin Mathis:Bye
Melissa Costello:bye.
Thank you for tuning in to come home. I love hearing from you. So please leave your comments and questions. At karma child.com/podcast. That's also the place where you can sign up to get some free coaching from me on an upcoming episode. And if you love the show, please subscribe in iTunes and leave a review and share it with your friends.
Melissa Costello:You can also find all my social media handles and sign up to be a part of my community@karmachow.com. Until next time, may you come home to what truly matters in your heart?